Adam Reviews: Peppa Pig

Peppa Pig, what started as a preschooler’s show in 2004 about a family of pigs doing daily activities and adventures. To this day, it now has 300+ episodes, games ranging from iOS and Android to the Nintendo Wii and DS, episodes released in cinemas, a couple of concerts, an album, and a theme park, and merchandise everywhere. It’s popularity is not slowing down even a little. This may seem harmless at first, but inside, it has many layers I would like to unravel. Get your boots, because we are jumping into Peppa Pig.

THE STORIES AND STRUCTURE

You would think with this being really popular, you would think it’s storytelling would be worth something, right? SPOILER ALERT: No. Some of the stories featured here are really bland. Nothing sticks out, nothing leaves an impact. The structure of said episodes are completely broken as well. It feels like I’m playing a learning game on a Leapfrog tablet, except if said game had bugs on par with Fallout 76. Thomas, Fireman Sam, Postman Pat, Pingu, etc, had more interesting stories, and they were aimed at the same age range, so what’s Peppa Pig’s excuse? But trust me when I say that Peppa Pig’s bland stories are not one of it’s worst attributes, it gets better.

Some stories range from insulting, to downright dangerous. It was reported that one episode was banned from Australia for teaching children to play with spiders. Which, may I remind you, are super dangerous in Australia. They not only bite, they KILL. Peppa Pig was literally teaching an impressional audience, to play with insects that can kill you. Just let that sink in for a moment or two… 

So there you have it. Peppa Pig’s stories are not only bland, but dangerous and insulting, but we’ll talk about the insulting part later.

THE ANIMATION AND VISUALS

Okay, I would like to bring up the fact that an episode of Peppa Pig costs £34,619 to produce. Now with that said… 

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE £34K TO YOU?!

OH. MY. DAYS. What can I say about the visuals?! Sorry, what GOOD can I say about the visuals?! Everything looks awful! Simply AWFUL!!!

I can guarantee you that NO ONE, would ever look at this, and think it’s even remotely acceptable!!! Limbs are sticks, lines overlap, designs too simplistic, confusing anatomy, stuck in an eternal T-pose when standing still, poorly designed backgrounds, the list. Goes. On.

And the animation… WHY?!

In it’s first episodes, the animation was really jagged. How jagged? Let’s just say that Assassin’s Creed: Unity runs smoother! They have made it smoother as time goes on, but that is not saying much. That’s the equivalent of saying The Emoji Movie is better than Foodfight!.

Along with horrendous animation comes with animation flaws! Things get Thanos’d out of existence in-between shots, characters appear wherever they please, and characters also get Thanos’d out of existence in-between shots!

Now, Animators at Astley Baker Davies, did at least somebody in your team at least go “Maybe, just maybe we should double check!”

You may think I’m overreacting, but here’s the thing; I’m an artist.

As an artist, seeing low-effort, copy-pasted, messy artwork make a lot of money really annoys me to no end.

When someone who hasn’t gotten a career in animation can do a better job than an entire team of artists and animators, you really have done a very terrible job.

THE CHARACTERS

If stories are poorly written, that also effects how the characters act. These characters are either bland, one-dimensional, annoying, really brattish, or a combination of the four. Let’s start with the narrator.

This narrator sucks at narrating. He doesn’t need to exist at all, but takes half, if not most of the episode, and constantly points out everything on screen. It doesn’t matter if any of the characters say they’re going to do one thing, or tell another character to do another thing, the narrator will point it out in the most obvious way possible.

Sometimes, the episode will stop, just so the narrator can speak. That is insulting intelligence if I ever seen it, and no, you can’t tell me that he’s just clarifying to the target audience, because as mentioned before, the characters announce what they’re going to do or tell another character what to do, making the entire point of the narrator redundant.

Now most of the other characters aren’t worth talking about, except for two characters, Peppa and her little brother, George.

Not only does Peppa have some of the most brattish behaviour portrayed on TV, but she is a very lousy role model, being rude, and selfish (especially to George), fat-shaming her Father, and not learning a thing.

George isn’t any better, he begs, cries, never learns, and gets rewarded for crying. With all of this behaviour on display, you would think that the parents would do something about it, right? NOPE!

Whenever negative behaviour is portrayed, the parents do nothing about it. They don’t even mention the behaviour shown in the slightest! Nothing is done, nothing is said, the characters never learn, so how will it’s audience learn from negative behaviour?

All I have to say about the morals, and behaviour in Peppa Pig is that it’s Caillou all over again.

OVERALL

You know all the Dingo Production movies? You know, those really cheap and bad cartoons like Animal Soccer World, or Phoenix Games’ version Peter Pan? Imagine something like that, but successful. That’s Peppa Pig for you.

Peppa Pig is one of the most malicious, intelligence-insulting and terribly influenced kid’s cartoons ever aired on TV. It’s stories are either bland, insulting or dangerous, with characters with terrible morals and bratty behaviour with nothing being done about it, and did I mention how much I loathe the visuals?

Never, ever, EVER show your kid(s) this in the slightest. Even if you’re a parent, babysitter, or going to be parents, NEVER show your kid(s) this. This is the British equivalent to Caillou!

Do you know what the worst part about all of this is? People defend it. People defend Peppa Pig. A lot of parents actually use Peppa Pig to babysit their kids. Need I remind them that their phone is not the parent, they are.

They also defend it by saying “Oh it’s just a children’s show, why are you complaining?!” Listen, just because it’s aimed at a younger audience, doesn’t give it an excuse to have a negative influence. Actually, the fact it’s aimed at pre-schoolers, makes it even more malicious. Long story short, if a Kid’s Movie, or Kid’s TV Show is bad, then it’s bad. Me being an adult doesn’t change the fact at all.

SCORES

Stories 1/10

Visuals 0/10

Characters 1/10

TOTAL SCORE 1/10

By Adam Lynas